Kissing away scars
by star not so fancy pants
Summary: sadstuck featuring stridercest and still going on so please be patient with me, and the second chapter has been put into third person by request and I'm a bit rough at it so excuse me v.v.
1. Chapter 1

Your name is Dave Strider. You just turned 13, four days ago. The only reason you are currently up is due to the Insomnia you suffer from since you were 10. You really haven't minded it in the past, but recently you have been in what seemed like never ending battle with your inner self. These battles were a deadly blow not only to you in general but also your cool-kid façade.

You slowly sit up just enough to look over at your alarm clock which read 3:54. Great you had to get up in about 2 hours for school. You lie back down and try to rest your head for another 15 minutes but your body was not taking orders at the moment so you had to find something to occupy you. Your homework was a waste of time, you haven't had inspiration for a new track so working on one wasn't an option, so laying there in darkness was your only option considering your best bro's were probably asleep.

As you lay in the darkness a voice in your head makes itself noticed and you know here's where the battle begins. It starts by picking at your love life, so that's the main topic tonight. It tells you, you have to tell John you might be getting some feelings for him. Then it says you don't know your sexuality and you need to have a talk with Bro. Then you start to question your feeling for Bro. Do you like him? Do you look up to him? You don't even know anymore and you roll over landing face down into a soft comfy pillow. You feel tears start to prick your eyes as you start to think about how fucked up you are. You look over to the bedside table which your box cutter lays. You don't mean to cut but you need it. It calms you. Knowing the fact if Bro found out you would be dead meat.

You go over to your mirror hanging from your closet door and take a good look at yourself. You've got platinum blonde hair bitches die for, you've got some build but not so much it's sickening to look at or it's like there's nothing there… just enough, and red eyes that no one has seen… besides Bro. You walk over to the table and grab your box cutter. It has your initials engraved in it from a safety pin. You press it against your skin just to get the feeling there before you actually penetrate the skin. You get the familiar feeling of cold metal against your skin which sends a wave of angst through your veins. You can't deal with it anymore, and press the blade into your skin. Letting the blood roll down your arm, you feel the voice go away, relief washing over you. You start to feel the tears joining the pool of blood on the floor.

You hear a door unlock. It catching you off guard since it's only 4:37. You rush to grab a towel and lay it on the blood stain, then clean up your cut placing a fresh Band-Aid on it. You put on your long sleeve to hide your other healing cuts and step out into the hall to find Bro standing outside your door. "Hey lil man how you holdin' up?" Bro's accent tended to be let out more around him than anyone else… which you absolutely didn't mind. You actually find it charming and cute."Fine." you say trying your best to hide the crack in your voice but Bro being Bro he noticed. Bro gives you a spectacle look before pinning you to the inside of your door."Bull shit what's going on?" You can't take it. Even being a Strider, you just can't fucking take it. You break. You fucking crack right in front of Bro and sob into his chest like a baby. Expecting to be scolded, Bro wraps you into a tight hug and lets you calm down.

Without you noticing Bro slides your sleeve to see all the cuts. Once you realize he's staring you try to back away but only back into a wall. "Dave…" is all he says in a monotone voice just that word seeming so pointless hanging in such a crucial moment. Just like everything else in life it just hangs there and you don't understand you just don't understand. Then it hits you you're just complete shit and you can't understand shit, you crumple in that spot. Slowly sliding your back on the wall and hugging your knee's biting at them in a failed attempt to keep from crying.

You feel Bro come pick you up and carry you to his bedroom; you stop crying as he takes of both of your shades and places them next to you on the bed. He wipes the tears from your eyes and kisses your forehead. "Hey lil man we'll get through this." He says embracing you in a hug, "We can get through anything with each other." He whispers linking his fingers through yours. You feel so much closer than you've ever felt to him before, you feel like at least he makes sense to you. Then again you're still confused this feels like love at least what you think love is, but life's confusing to you. Bro's always been there but talking with him is never something you've done in an extremely serious manner your nervous. Life scares and quite frankly you don't want to deal with it anymore.

You look up into your brothers beautiful eyes and you feel so confused and depleted. Then you can't feel anything but a fluttering in your stomach because Bro's lips are on yours and his hand is combing itself into your hair. You're kissing back and it feels amazing and unlike any kiss from a girl you've ever had before, he's pushing you back into the bed and wriggling your shirt up meeting the scars all along your stomach and chest. He strokes each one individually and gently, caresses the outsides with such tender care making you feel safe. His tongue starts to explore your mouth and you favor his with the same.

He begins nibbling at your neck and pulling you shirt over your head spreading you out under him, leaving your chest and forearms exposed. Down both forearms are cuts right after the elbow and on the wrist, cuts going from the middle of your chest and spreading into a wider format stopping right before your boxers your bones barely poking out. Then he kissed every scar down to the edge, starting at the right arm then to the left finishing vertically down your torso. "We need to get you better bro." he said sitting you up your head twinkling from the feeling of lips on your skin. Looking at you he tilted his head at you "At school today invite John over and tell him your feelings for him." He finished off taking your hand in his.

"WHAT WAS THIS THEN!" you yell enraged because now your more confused than before, he sighs and retorts "Dave I was helping you figure out your sexuality". You blink no longer confused he's always done things his own 'strider way', you put your shades back on and say "Next time were going to have a make out sesh warn me". "I wasn't just helping you with your sexuality I was also comforting your cutting letting you know I'm here for you." He said taking off you shades, "Look I know we've been distant and I thought that maybe this was going on but never thought it would get this bad". He finished rubbing his neck in a way that told you there was going to be much more said, "More communication is needed so I'm going to start trying that you know talking more and doing more 'normal' family things, your gay you won't be in the closet I just brought you out I mean you can't disclaim that boner man." He said with a chuckle at the end, and then he adds "Get ready for school I'm taking you to breakfast".


	2. Chapter 2

Bro took Dave out to breakfast at some little ironically shitty diner where everyone knew Bro for something or another and you just kind of awkwardly stood by him trying not to get talked to. Now walking up to first period his palms were sweaty and his heart was racing but he kept a cool expression, John was in his first period all he had to do was invite him over. The real stress was after that telling him how he felt what would happen and how he would take it, this was too much to deal with right now. He pushed his hand through his hand trough his hair entering the classroom seeing John already in class as usual talking to Rose. Rose seemed like a nice person and she was pretty cool but Dave didn't really like her, seeing as he knew she had a crush on John and they spent so much time together. John was oblivious with that though Rose understood this and wasn't ready to make any moves of her own seeing as she understood how Dave felt.

"Morning Egbert" Dave says greeting him with the same fist he did every day, but as usual John just pushed that aside an in gulfed him in a hug declaring, "morning". John wasn't one for fist bumps and most certainly not with Dave he loved hugging him, Dave of course took these hugs gratefully as he couldn't think of a better feeling. Dave pulled from the hug and greeted Rose with a fist also which only ended him up in a hand shake from her delicate boney hand.

Dave's back ached from all the muscles he was stressing trying to keep a composed face it was now or never the last ten minutes of first period. Elbowing John in his side lightly to get his attention Dave asked, "Yo Egbert want to come over tonight maybe catch a movie". John was immediately filled with joy he loved spending time with Dave and this way he could bring a movie over and they could be alone. "Yes I'll bring something over this'll be so much fun." John quickly responded "cool" Dave responded blowing up inside. Dave looked over at John and let a rare and small smile touch the corners of his lips then before John could say anything the bell rang and he was out the door. John just kind of sat there confused until Rose came up to his desk and asked if he was ready to go to their next class, Rose and him had every class together so they always walked together.

John thought that it was just what friends do but Rose found that she loved it much too much when he would link their arms and people would start to whisper asking if they were "dating". Though it troubled her and she knew she should move on seeing as based on the way John acted he had feelings for Dave , Dave acted as if he returned the feelings also. Sometimes she wished she could confess her feelings but she knew he would never return them. Dave watched them from across the hall having second period just pass their class wishing that Rose didn't look so happy about how close they were. He wasn't sure what was up with her no matter how many moves opened up she always stayed respectable to the fact that he had feelings for John, even when he wasn't sure if he did himself. She even approached him on the subject in a rather odd way in which she thought was mature but he thought was bizarre as hell.

("oomph."Dave made a noise as his collar jerked him backwards behind a tree that he had just been eating under to meet eyes with Rose. "Ro-?" he began but she cut him off, "Listen Dave you've got unexpressed feelings for John as I, the only difference is he returns the feelings to you. Past his oblivion he seems to have acquired a rather sweet adoration towards you in a non platonic way.")

He wrote it off at the time as Rose is trying to do some matchmaking for her weird ass wizard shit but now it seemed like she was just very good at reading emotions. That gave him some hope about telling John but not much him being pessimistic and all.


End file.
